Thought time

Tonight is one of those nights I think, 
reminiscence if you may; 
About stuff, people, one may even say "life" if one feels ambitious. 
The choices, the so called sacrifices, the grieving, the laughter... 
One may wonder... 
Has it all been worth it? Is it really?
Once someone asked me why? 

Why would I even want to start over? 
Why do I feel the need to do so?

Some may say "She lacks the ability", 

or may not say it... at least not to your face.
Let me tell you, that's exactly why.


I do not have the URGE or the NEED to prove anything to myself, but the need to satisfy ones hunger for more; More knowledge, more time, more... just, more.
I admire the people that are able to settle for "a dream", which in time, becomes their reality. They are doing something I wont ever be able to do.
This hunger for more, for change is what keeps me going.
If I loose it, I loose it. But to keep going I need to loose it.

I know it may be self glorifying, but this is nothing, I know life, or however you want to call it, is bigger than just this... and I refuse to go without a fight, a great BOOM!

I also know that for all of you reading this, it will make Zero sense, 

But trust me when I tell you...
I just do not give a damn.

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